He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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