I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
