Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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