I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Boobs speak an international language.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
