apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
