Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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