Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
