I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
