So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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