escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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