Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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