So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
