So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Who died my cat blue again?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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