From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
