**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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