Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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