I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
