totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
