I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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