You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize