it hurts more in the daytime
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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