the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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