Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
