like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have fence marks all over my body
They have beer where we have blood.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
