HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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