I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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