peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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