I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, beer. Big fan.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
