So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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