So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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