What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
