So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
