I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
