It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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