i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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