I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
