Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
