hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize