Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize