So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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