I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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