just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
