he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
