This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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