I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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