so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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