they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
