they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
