Small penises have feelings too.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
