I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize