And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
