Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
