its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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