Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
