Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize