Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
